I’m sure my rellies in Belfast would think this funny – but then again maybe they mayn’t lol
Irish Medical Dictionary
Artery………………………..The study of paintings
Bacteria…………………….Back door to cafeteria
Barium……………………….What doctors do when patients die
Benign……………………….What you be, after you be eight
Caesarean Section………A neighborhood in Rome
Catscan…………………….Searching for Kitty
Cauterize…………………..Made eye contact with her
Colic………………………….A sheep dog
Coma………………………..A punctuation mark
Dilate…………………………To live long
Enema………………………Not a friend
Fester……………………….Quicker than someone else
Fibula……………………….A small lie
Impotent…………………….Distinguished, well known
Labour Pain……………….Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff………………A Doctor’s cane
Morbid……………………….A higher offer
Nitrates……………………..Cheaper than day rates
Node………………………….I knew it
Outpatient………………….A person who has fainted
Pelvis………………………..Second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative……………A letter carrier
Recovery Room………….Place to do upholstery
Rectum……………………..Nearly killed him
Secretion…………………..Hiding something
Seizure……………………..Roman emperor
Tablet………………………..A small table
Terminal Illness………….Getting sick at the airport
Tumor………………………One plus one more
Urine………………………..Opposite of you’re out
Yes I know its a groaner
Still Waters 
Well, these are hilarious — I see many of these terms many times every day in the work I do. I have a cousin who is "half Irish:, not sure if she would find them so amusing. I, however, am not any part Irish at all.
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I would say that this dictionary would apply to those living in the backwoods of the deep south …. but some of the words were too big!
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And a great "groaner" to boot! Oh dear, these really are something else. Thanks again for making my day.
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