It only seems like a short time (certainly not the actual 3 months) since the clubs and groups I’m associated with returned and regrouped after the long summer break
Weeks have moved past quite quickly this year – early on, illness and ‘other’ meant some classes/gatherings didn’t happen but when I looked at the calendar the other day (3 weeks into the 2nd term) I groaned – where did all my free time go?
I’m starting to get fed up with trying to find a day ‘to do things’.
For quite a few years after I finished working (as in paid employment) I was involved with a large charity giving them 2 regular days a week of my time. It was almost like being ‘at work’ again, being acknowledged for who I was, seeing/working alongside the same people each time, I agreed with the aims and objectives of the charity and certainly enjoyed the tasks I was responsible for. Then, like a lot of things in life, things changed, paid staff moved on, office routines changed, attitudes toward the volunteers changed and I grew tired of ‘office politics’.
It was so much like being back at work again that I decided I didn’t need all that stuff in my life and resigned. Oh but we ‘love’ what you’re doing, you’ve been doing it for about 10 years now why are you giving it away.
Because I need some ‘me time’ I told them and began to live a very quiet ‘me time’ life. Doing what I wanted when I wanted with no commitments to anyone or anything else – apart from The Golfer. I was content with my Crafting Reading Gardening Knitting Family History researching Travelling etc etc the same as many other retirees were.
Then the community attitude to older life expectations seemed to swing away from living a quiet sedentary life and became ‘Keep busy, keep your brain active, meeting greeting getting involved, play a larger role in society or you will grow stale in retirement.
I’m not usually swayed by those sorts of ‘messages’ but did begin to wonder if – no matter how much I was enjoying my quiet retiring lifestyle – I was becoming too much of a recluse, perhaps I did need to move back into community life and take more interest in what was going on around me, so slowly and gingerly (because sometimes you don’t quite know what you’re letting yourself in for) I joined clubs and groups that were recommended by friends and the pace of my days changed again.
This year is nearly half way over and as I mentioned above it’s now got to the stage where the boxes on my calendar have so many ‘regular’ outings pencilled in…..some weekly, some fortnightly, others monthly…….that something has got to go because I’m finding it hard to find a day to do things – like housework or washing or ironing – well that might be stretching it a bit but with an overly full lifestyle making medical appointments as well as finding days to catch up with friends it is becoming very much like telephone yo-yo*
*Years ago there was a little game played in business circles called Telephone YoYo. I’d call another practice and ask to speak to someone- not available ‘I’ll ask them to call you’ – they’d call back – ‘sorry Cathy’s not available to take your call. And so it would go. The yoyo string would roll up to them and down to me …..backwards and forwards and so on 🙂
* These days it’s – sorry I’m not free that day, let’s try for another one.
* Or – Oh you’re not free that day – how about this one
Maybe it is just me that enjoys being involved yet thinks/knows that no matter what age one is, there are times when constant busy times can be too much of a good thing.
(That sentence seems to be as clear as mud)
Does anyone else feel the same way?.
******
Monday Musings – a time to think and ponder
What are you thinking about this Monday morning?
Still Waters 
Well, it’s just gone Sunday noon here, so I’m feeling a bit luxurious in comparison to you…I’m not only in another hemisphere, I’m in a day earlier than you! But, Monday morning will roll around too quickly and I must be up and out early to get blood work done that was ordered LAST Monday but for which I never had (or made) the time. The next two weeks will fly in a blur due to all the places and obligations I must see to. However, I will not complain as I am healthy and able to go and do. Summer, and the living will be easier, is coming. I think, though today it feels and looks like winter here.
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Ah yes you have summer to look forward to – maybe that’s why I’m so up in the air at the moment. I’m doing too much elsewhere – knowing our weather will change (in a downward direction) and enjoying the outdoors – which is what I want to do while it’s still pleasant outside- is not happening here at home.
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I definitely feel as you do, despite knowing that I need to keep up my outside commitments/connection to the world. It is very nice to have a day with nothing on the agenda.
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I’m glad someone else feels that way EC. Others seem to have no problem being out and about every day but it catches up with me and I’m longing for quiet times with no commitments
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Frustrating but unavoidable, husband’s medical appointments. Have one and it spews out five more usually early in the morning meaning a rush to get ready and out of the house at sparrowfart to get to the hospital in the capital….a day totally disrupted, husband exhausted…so no time for joining a group or volunteer again as I could not be reliable.
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Life at the moment (and for a while now) is not treating either of you fairly is it Helen. Hopefully you’ll get a wee break and be able to enjoy life ‘down on the farm’
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I don’t seem to have to look for things to do. In spite of what has happened, I can’t imagine I will in the future either. One day drifts to another. Shopping for something most days, brunch out. A trip on public transport in the afternoons, or a visit to see something. More medical appointments than I ever wished for. Occasional catch up with family members. Dinner out maybe once a week (that will change now). We are supposed to slow down as we get older and that’s for good reasons. Great for those who don’t, but it is more natural to slow down.
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It’s good that your routine hasn’t faltered during this stressful time Andrew. You are one of those lucky ones who are able to coast along and be content with life.
I don’t mind a slow life, it’s just that I’m a bit like a child in a sweetie shop who enjoys too much of what’s on offer then realises there’s too much on her plate and she’ll have to give some of it back
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we are retired educators & decided to volunteer our skills.. to various charities & more. In fact my husband did a counselling course & part degree to be with one group. Both of us had been school principals & we knew about politics in schools but in these organisations we were being “led” by people who enjoyed the “power over” titles.
Sadly but to our benefit we both withdrew our services – at different times & with different groups because as you point out “office politics was part of paid working life” & we had a choice now. And even though we sometimes feel tempted to return to “something” we have, given our chronic health issues decided we are looking after us first.
Denyse
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I totally understand. When I’m out and about I keep wanting to be home. Eventually I think I really need to get involved with life again. But it’s just so tiring and I love my own company. It goes in cycles. Right now I’m in my hermit stage. I’m sure I’ll be out and about again soon.
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It’s finding that balance without feeling you’ve been hard done by.
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I collapse in a blubbering heap if i don’t have enough time at home. I don’t know what the right ratio is and I still sometimes get to that point without seeing it coming but i know it happens.
I think if a retiree knits, reads, gardens, travels and has family, friends and home to be interested in and care for, thats a full and rich life
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Yes it’s a full life Kylie but there are times when I need outside stimulation…..which I love until I feel I’m over stimulated and that’s when I need peace and quiet. Because I enjoy all those outside interests it’s working out what I need to lose to achieve it.
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I am looking forward to retirement very much. It’s about 20 years off (if I’m lucky and save well!).
I fully intend to be a hermit until and unless that doesn’t feel enjoyable to me. And I may feel differently once I’m not having to give so much time and energy to a job I suppose.
As others have said, things can go in cycles. If you’re not getting joy from your activities – not just in the moment but overall – I think it’s OK to stop doing them until you miss them again!
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I have always been one of those people who decides they want something then discover maybe it wasn’t right for them so left off ‘using it’ but missed it so after a while returned. Sort of like yo yo dieting.
So your suggestion of – stop until you miss it – is spot on!
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You can only do what seems right at the time!
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when I moved here, I thought to get involved like I was before I moved – somehow although I’ve joined a few things, I’ve not got too much at all.
and now I’ve been here 5 months (yep) I actually enjoy “not going everywhere” although on saying that my health hasn’t been too flash since the beginning of the year! ro
the community I live in is very much “stay at home bunch” and only met for meals. However, 3 of us play rumikub after dinner a couple of nights a week. And I’ve starting watching the living room TV (I don’t have a TV in my room and I don’t want one)
now when I could start going out, I’ve realised my “happiness is a holiday” crosses over 3 events that I will miss…not serious.
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I think you’ve done the right thing by not getting too involved Catherine and just enjoying the ‘go with the flow’ aspect of life at the moment
You are going to so enjoy your trip!
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nothing at all on my May Month but dr appt on 23 and on 30th. I go shopping for food on Saturday at 6 am and that is the only time
i leave the house. I am the opposite of your calendar
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Well, I’m an introvert and quite honestly prefer more quiet days to the busy ones. I do meet once a month with two different groups of women and then occasionally have coffee with some good friends. My husband and I are fairly regular church goers and I donate cookies for funerals. Other than that, I keep my schedule fairly calm. I had busy years with work and two children and just love the time I can spend at home.
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