Category: Uncategorized

Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica- where do they go?

Wonder no more!!!

It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life.

The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintaining a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life.

If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice using their vestigial wings and beaks until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into and buried.

The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:

“freeze a jolly good fellow.”

The Barman and the Rabbit

A rabbit walks into a pub and says to the barman,

‘Can I have a pint of beer, and a Ham and Cheese Toastie?’

The barman is amazed, but gives the rabbit a pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese toastie.

The rabbit drinks the beer and eats the Toastie.

He then leaves.

The following night the rabbit returns and again asks for a pint of beer, and a Ham and Cheese Toastie.

The barman, who is now intrigued by the rabbit, gives the rabbit the pint and the Toastie.

The rabbit consumes them and leaves.

The next night, the pub is packed.

In walks the rabbit and says, ‘A pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please barman.’

The crowd is hushed as the barman gives the rabbit his pint and Toastie, and then burst into applause as the rabbit wolfs them down

The next night there is standing room only in the pub; coaches have been laid on for the crowds of patrons attending.

The barman is making more money in one week than he did all last year

In walks the rabbit and says, ‘A pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please barman,

The barman says, ‘I’m sorry rabbit, old mate, old mucker, but we are right out of them Ham and Cheese Toasties

The rabbit looks aghast.

The crowd has quietened to almost a whisper, when the barman clears his throat nervously and says, ‘We do have a very nice Cheese and Onion Toastie.’

The rabbit looks him in the eye and says, ‘Are you sure I will like it.

The masses bated breath is ear shatteringly silent.

The barman, with a roguish smile says,

‘Do you think that I would let down one of my best friends. I know you’ll love it.’

‘Ok’, says the rabbit, ‘I’ll have a pint of beer and a Cheese and Onion Toastie.’

The pub erupts with glee as the rabbit quaffs the beer and guzzles the toastie.

He then waves to the crowd and leaves…. …NEVER TO RETURN!!!!!!

One year later, in the now impoverished public house, the barman, (who has only served 4 drinks tonight, 3 of which were his) calls time.

When he is cleaning down the now empty bar, he sees a small white form, floating above the bar.

The barman says, ‘Who are you?’

To which he is answered,

‘I am the ghost of the rabbit that used to frequent your public house.’

The barman says, ‘I remember you. You made me famous.

You would come in every night and have a pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie. Masses came to see you and this place was famous.’

The rabbit says, ‘Yes I know.’

The barman said, ‘I remember, on your last night we didn’t have any Ham and Cheese Toasties.

You had a Cheese and Onion one instead.’

The rabbit said, ‘Yes, you promised me that I would love it.

The barman said, ‘You never came back, what happened?’

‘I DIED’ said the rabbit.

‘NO!’ said the barman. ‘What from?’

After a short pause the rabbit replied.
.
.
.
.
.
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’Mixin-me-toasties.’

Sometimes called Society Garlic its real name is Tulbaghia violaceae

Some will say the leaves are edible but I wouldn’t like to risk it

Its always grown like crazy in my garden

Looks nice beside the Brachyscome which has similar coloured flowers

Unfortunately it has a very strong smell and if I’m silly enough to pick some and bring indoors for a vase I regret it quite quickly as it stinks the house out within a short time lol

We have some new TV channels coming alive at the moment

If your TV is ok for digital reception or you have the back set top box you can view ONEHD (part of channel 10 network), which is a dedicated 24-hour sports channel.

http://ten.com.au/one-hd.htm

Lots of new sports available for us to watch – well I’ll rephrase that – lots of new sports for Dh to watch, especially in the afternoon when some of the international sport is available.

When the channel was ‘testing’ he was watching American Football (Gridiron), now the Masters Golf from Augusta, Basketball and Baseball are all keeping him happy, as well as Soccer with English and European match highlights.

Its been a real plus for him, some afternoons recently have been a bit too chilly to sit outside as he normally does for an hours read so he’s parked himself in the lounge room with a coffee and his book and has been very quiet for an hour or two – with the TV on. LOL

Possibly makes him sound like a bit of a Norm – who remembers him from the 1970’s Life Be In It Campaign –

…………….The central character in the ‘Life. Be in it’ commercials became a cult figure. The obese, middle-aged man, Norm, was an anti-hero who needed to stop being a couch potato and become ‘more active’. That Norm has become an Australian icon is evidenced by the inclusion of a gigantic, couch-bound Norm (dressed, of all things, in gold lame and sequins) in Sydney’s Centenary of Federation parade in 2001. The term ‘Norm’ has been adopted into the Australian vernacular to describe, according to the Macquarie Dictionary Book of Slang, an average citizen viewed as a non-participant in any kind of physical exercise while addicted to watching spectator sports on television………

but it gives him (and me) the chance to view sports we wouldn’t see otherwise.

For me when I have a minute to sit down it has been great to see Netball being given an airing on a different station other than the ABC. And I even saw some indoor athletics the other day.

http://ten.com.au/one-hd-sports-on-one.htm

There are many times I don’t want to see all the grief that’s happening in the world at the present time – not saying I am ignoring it – its just some days I’d rather not be depressed and sad so not having it uppermost in my mind is one way of relieving all that tension I feel whilst watching the news.

So, if you’ve read this far you might be able to answer my question –

Remembering that even tho’ Baseball does have a following here in Melbourne and there is a league as such, I’m familiar with the game but I don’t know that much about it –

my question is –

We see some of the baseball players who look lean and fit but I see others who actually look chubby (won’t say fat ‘cose they wouldn’t like that) they are really on the large side – especially in one of the teams playing this afternoon – Thursday evening in the states (Milwaukee) and we wondered why.

It seems quite strange as they definitely have a different stature to the rest of the team especially the younger looking ones.

So would they be an older player who’s put on (rather a lot of) weight or is there another reason?

This has something for everyone

If you know the bush, it will appeal to you
If you work in the oil industry, there is something in it for you too
If you have a sense of humour – well, it might test it a little
And if you are not an Australian, then it won’t help your knowledge of Australian life one bit…………………..

Goodbye Granddad

Poor old Granddad’s passed away, cut off in his prime
He never had a day off crook – gone before his time
We found him in the dunny, collapsed there on the seat
A startled look upon his face, his trousers around his feet
The doctor said his heart was good – fit as any trout
The Constable he had his say, ‘foul play’ was not ruled out.

There were theories at the inquest of snakebite without trace
Of redbacks quietly creeping and death from outer space
No-one had a clue at all – the judge was in some doubt
When Dad was called to have his say as to how it came about
‘I reckon I can clear it up,’ said Dad with trembling breath
‘You see it’s quite a story – but it could explain his death.

‘This here exploration mob had been looking at our soil
And they reckoned that our farm was just the place for oil
So they came and put a bore down and said they’d make some trials
They drilled a hole as deep as hell, they said about three miles.
Well, they never found a trace of oil and off they went, post haste
And I couldn’t see a hole like that go to flamin’ waste

So I moved the dunny over it – real smart move I thought
I’d never have to dig again – I’d never be ‘caught short’
The day I moved the dunny, it looked a proper sight
But I didn’t dream poor Granddad would pass away that night.
Now I reckon what has happened – poor Granddad didn’t know
The dunny was re-located when that night he had to go

And you’ll probably be wondering how poor Granddad did his dash
.
Well, he always used to hold his breath

Until he heard the splash!!

Dunny – Outhouse – Long Drop

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunny

http://www.upfromaustralia.com/takepeebreak.html

http://www.warrenfahey.com/articles/dunny.html

Well, I have to admit I’ve gone and done something – and I can’t remember where I did it. LOL

I have left a comment on someones blog about Agapanthus………………………only it was on the wrong blog:(

And for the life of me I can’t remember whose blog it was……………yes I know ……………how could I do such a thing.

Believe me it is quite easy some days 🙂

So if I left a weird comment not relating to the post you wrote – just think she’s having a bad day and ignore it

The correct person will be hearing from me soon

Kurt Johannsen’s Diamond T – an early road train

The robbery

A gunman walks into a bank wearing a balaclava, waves a pistol and shouts

“this is a hold up, every one stand still and look at the floor”

He then jumps the counter and fills up a bag with money.

As he is leaving the bank a brave soul reaches out and pulls the Balaclava off.

The gunman immediately shoots the hero in the head and shouts, “did any one else see my face?”

After a few moments of silence a voice from the back says,

“I think my wife might have”

The World’s Shortest Fairy Tale

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl ‘Will you marry me?’

The girl said, ‘NO!’

And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and left thetoilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.

The End

I know they are gross (male humour) but you have to laugh ‘cose they are so awful

Well it’s been quite a week, and it’s not over yet 😦

One or two extra points are ok but at the rate she wanted me to eat them (both the chocolate and the points they represented) I’d of not had any left to for lunch or dinner that evening lol

Spent the afternoon talking to oldest Dd – another unhappy lady.

This time I found out her role at work had been made redundant so she was at home if I needed her. Offered another position in the company she decided even tho’ it might not have been the best thing in this environment she’d take the package and leave, have a rest and reassess her life.

I know I said unhappy but I don’t think that’s actually true ‘cose she was looking forward to being at home, not having to rush out the door and get the little one to school so she could get to work on time, not have to utilise after school care or vacation care ‘cose both she and the partner were at work, be able to do all the household things like cooking lovely meals and not have a pile of ironing in the corner.

You know Mum all the things you did when we were at school.

What she is annoyed about is the likelihood of not having the extra cash to do what she wants with. Had to keep telling her it wasn’t HER who was made redundant it was her JOB and not having extra cash isn’t the end of the world. Not sure she believed me tho:(

I have to pick up DGd (her little one) from school today and this time I mustn’t be late.

Last week I was late, nobody in the kiss and ride area when I got there so had to go and look for her. Whoops, was I in trouble – needless to say she was not amused and Oh the humiliation of having to sign her out from The Office as a Late Pick Up.

All those feelings came back as I approached the window – you know the ones I mean – I felt as tho I’d done something wrong and could expect the door to open and The Headmaster to come out.

Anyway today Mum is off doing an event already arranged well before her date with the CEO last week – she and 3 friends are running/walking the Melbourne Oxfam 100km Trailwalker which began today and will continue over the weekend.

http://www2.oxfam.org.au/trailwalker/Melbourne/about/default.aspx

It certainly doesn’t seem like 12 months since the last time they attemped it, she and the other girls are experienced walkers/runners and baring anything going wrong hope to finish in the early hours of tomorrow morning. Not my idea of fun but then I’ll give them full marks for trying :))

On Wednesday I took Leroy our old old Chocolate Burmese Fella to the vet but I’ll talk about that another day – he was diagnosed with something nasty late last year but now it may not be true after all which was one thing that did go right this week

My brother rang from England the other day to say they would be over in Jouly, great ‘cept we had just decided we’d go north for the Winter again. Lots of map looking and rearranging of dates and places which means we will meet them in Cairns late July instead of in Melbourne as they thought in August. Hopefully I’ll get to call in to Brisbane again and meet up with the GD we don’t see. Thats all in the future tho’

There is a definite change in the air down here now, its not getting light till nearly 7am, didn’t look at the clock when I woke this morning and then had a fit as it was later than I thought, had to run like crazy to be out on time. Microwave porridge isn’t the same as cooked on the stove

We’ve had some lovely sunny days but its getting cooler overnight and feels cold in the mornings, that silly time when the house takes ages to warm up and feels colder than outside so you’re putting on and taking off as you go in and out. No bare feet these days and certainly slippers in the evening.

The Run for The Kids both Dh and I volunteered for last year is being run next Sunday so we’ll be up and in the city early then.
http://www.runforthekids.com.au/r4k/

Had the volunteers meeting last night in Melbourne so we tootled off on the train (cost a fortune in parking last year) and thought that the best option. Went in about 3.30 in the afternoon, the train was packed with High School kids, you know that lovely group of young people from the age of 11/12 up to 17/18 , oh – can they talk and make a noise.

Laughed inwardly at the girls discussing the boys and the show off behaviour of the boys, as the train moved along the line some got off and other groups from other schools got on but it didn’t seem to matter what school – state or private they all seemed to act the same way lol

You know theres lots of talk these days about people not reading and being more concerned with other technology, yet another thing I noticed on the way home (9pm) I would think out of the 100 heads I counted in our carriage at least 80 of the would have been reading something – a book, newspaper, what looked like work materials or even school/educational material.

Surprising as it may seem I didn’t see one laptop open – lots of eyes closed at times, mine included 🙂

Sorry about this, busy week but will be back soon:)
Cathy

Many aspects of human sexuality are very puzzling ………. take celibacy.

This can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by environmental factors.

While attending a Marriage Encounter Weekend, Robert and Mary listened to the
instructor declare………………..

‘It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to
each other.’

He addressed the men. ‘Can you each name and describe your wife’s favourite
flower?’

Robert leaned over, touched Mary’s arm gently and whispered, ‘Self raising,
isn’t it?’

Thus began Robert’s life of celibacy.

We get some funny stuff arrive at our inbox and I wanted you to see these……………………….

This is what had me chuckling this morning :)))

Will be back tomorrow and I’ll talk then – Bye

Ice cream or ice-cream (originally iced cream) is a frozen dessert usually made from dairy products, such as milk and cream, combined with fruits or other ingredients. Most varieties contain sugar, although some are made with other sweeteners. This mixture is stirred slowly while cooling to prevent large ice crystals from forming; the result is a smoothly textured ice cream – courtesy of Wikipeadia

Theres so much feeling in this photo – even now when I look at it I can still remember the worry of the 2 little boys who thought they weren’t going to get an ice cream.

Our eldest son and daughter had taken theirs from Dh when he was served at the van in the background – I’d taken the youngest 3 to the loo and when we returned to see them with the ice cream the youngest boys and the other daughter were really worried that Dad had forgotten them.

Dad had his back to them so they couldn’t see what he had in his hands – truth be told they were more interested in what was in their brother’s hand :))

The camera was so handy and I just couldn’t resist taking the picture. The funny thing was normally they would have been carrying on and tears would have been coming down – not that day, they just stood there looking.

Mr Whippy is an Australian Icon – lots of imitators drive the steets – but he seems to have been in business the longest. The strains of Greensleaves alerts kids all round the neighbourhood – some parents have been known to tell their children that he plays the music to let the parents know he’s run out of ice creams.

How mean is that lol

click on photo to enlarge

Today is March 21st – its our Autumn Equinox weekend when all things summery wind down, winter sports start and the summer ones finish.

‘Cept for Tennis that is.

Tennis lessons go all year round down here and Saturday is a big day for kids lessons. This was at 10am and they would have continued all morning with the various ages and levels turning up at their allocated times.

Could be another Aussie Champion amongst those little ones 🙂

An hour of Body Pump made me understand that not all my muscles had been used recently which meant I had to recover with coffee and cake when I got home. Well, Dh had just put the kettle on and I didn’t say no to either of the things he offered, so coffee and cake it was.

We now have the cash to order a water tank and I spent time this afternoon clearing and tidying up the area round the side of the garage where it will go. We want the downpipe water inlet and the outlet tap at the same end which means it has to be a special order so will take about 3 weeks till delivery which is good ‘cose the ground has to be levelled and that will mean some hard work on someone’s part – not mine as I’m not good at that sort of stuff – or at least thats what I told Dh and he sort of accepted that he’d be the someone lol

Mean’t to mention a couple of other bloggers who have joined Caroline in taking a tour of their local area and telling why they live there

Pop over to Joolz and see a post on her home town and locality

And you must read Linda’s also on her town and area

Whilst we all live in Australia its good to know there is no sameness to our towns and states – there used to be a TV programme on ABC called A Big Country and reading these brings the same feelings back as when I watched this programme.

Does anyone else remember seeing it?

The other day when we were having all that rain I made some comment at home about wet washing hanging around in the rainy weather.

We haven’t used (or had ) a dryer at home for many years – ours packed up and at that time there were various reasons why we didn’t replace it – lack of money, effect on electricity bill, and the thought that here in Melbourne maybe tomorrow would be a day when I could use the outside line after all.

I can (and do) hang clothes overnight in the doorway of the laundry and they are often dry the next morning and for other larger things I use the big clothes horse outside under the covered deck. The one thing I have never wanted is a line outside the back door under the covered deck – Chinese laundry style:)

Well I was given a large package and this is what it contained –

Yes, a portable collapsible rotary clothes line, fully assembled and so easy to put up.

Made up of two halves that slot together, the top half with the line sides down the pole and the bottom half with the legs slides up its pole – and it comes with a zippered bag for storage.

Nowhere near as much line as I normally use mind you but the thought was there and I love them for it.

It fits into that space quite nicely and isn’t in anyones way if they need to walk past; if we do need that seating it can easily be relegated to the garage, only not for long or I’ll forget its there and run out of undies 🙂

A little while ago I mentioned some baby jackets I knit on regular basis to be sold on a charity stall, well as this weekend just gone was rather wet (I’m not going to say miserable ‘cose we needed the rain) and not condusive to gardening (thats true as it was all horrible and soggy out there !) I set to and made up some that were finished. Sewed the side seams and added buttons to make them into the finished article.

All the jackets in the first picture are the same design, simple sleeveless 2 fronts and a back, pick up round the sides for an armhole and round the neck for a little collar as such. Difference is apparent I think – two in Fishermans Rib, one in Broken Rib and the other two in a pattern I borrowed from another cardigan in another book. As long as you have the correct number of stitiches to form the pattern the world is your oyster.

I love these two in the girly colours Now these are another design I enjoy knitting – knit the two fronts and then join both together with extra stitches at the neck and knit on down for the back. Because the little armhole os part of the design all thats needed then is to pick up for the neckband and join at the sides. Easy peasy as the kids say lol

This variegated wool is all the rage over here at the moment

Even tho’ the knitting pattern is for 8ply (similar to double knit) because the design is measured in rows the thickness of the yarn means they can all be different sizes. That happens anyway with lots of patterns, hence the need for a tension square if its an important garment. Not knowing what size these will be is half the fun and this little one is really cute. .

Should fit a 3 month old baby