For the first week or so after we got home I was in a right mess – mentally as well as physically. I was angry because apart from a little hiccup in Bowen I’d enjoyed many months of being symptom free, then something (who knows what) happened on the journey home and I was up shit creek in a whole lot of trouble. Driving was fine, it was getting to and from lunch stops and the last couple of motel rooms when those awful sciatica ‘electric shocks down the leg’ revealed a very different Catherine to the pleasant one known to most of you.
Arrived home on a Thursday evening- nothing available next day so first thing Saturday appt with my chiro ….who kept telling me ‘it’ll all come good in the end’. Reassuring words I’d heard her say before but very hard to believe when you’re in agony. Engrossed in my own misery and feeling very sorry for myself I ignored everyone and everything around me – I tried but The Golfer got very little ‘intelligent’ input from me where the new television was concerned.
‘Flare ups’ are the pits!!
Now here it is the 2nd of October and after two more chiro visits plus stretching and lots of warm water pool therapy I’m feeling much better, walking with ease ( upright as opposed to leaning forward ) and wondering – as often happens – what was that all about?
Anyone witnessing the pity party that went on in my house one afternoon of that first week home would have wondered if I’d turned into a 3year old.
I’ll admit sobbing took place – tears were shed by the bucketload – moaning and muttering words like “ Why me? It’s not fair! I didn’t sign up for this”
Strangely once it was all over I got up, made myself a cup of tea and settled down to knit….feeling much better.
I’m just glad The Golfer was out and didn’t witness it. Yes it would have given him a better idea of how I was feeling but I don’t think he’d have appreciated the ‘emotional side of it’. 😕
I had a chuckle when a friend I’d confided in (who suffers similar problems) sent me something she’d found online – laughing and saying “yes this helps sometimes….but I suggest having a tantrum on the bed ….because it’s a bugger trying to get up off the floor” 👇
THE 5-MINUTE PITY PARTY .
When things are going wrong and I feel overwhelmed, I set a five minute timer on my phone and allow myself to cry, scream, cuss, and release all of my emotions.
We tend to make one of two mistakes – one is not addressing our emotions and letting them haunt us, and the other is spending too much time focusing on the pain.
Give your raw emotions a full 5 minutes of your time, and then get back to swimming.
Unknown
I’m curious to know how others view pity parties – do you think they have a place in our lives – do they work- or should we just grin and bear it – not let ourselves get that upset?
* * * * *
Being the beginning of October means one month of Spring has gone by already- apart from a couple of cool days it’s been unseasonably warm…….mind you after today’s forecasted ‘warm one’ (27c/80f) nature is reminding us that she is in control and it looks like it’ll be chilly and damp for the rest of the week.
Hopefully the weather will change after that and it’ll come good again.
Monday Musings – a time to think and ponder
Still Waters 
I can feel your pain. I came up to Scotland last week to relax and garden in equal quantities but on our first day I did my back in just adjusting the mattress a bit! So now I am doing far more relaxing than intended.
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We generally don’t really have the option to not get upset, do we? By the time you think ‘I shouldn’t get upset’ you’re almost certainly already there. So I’m a fan of giving the upset its moment – otherwise it’ll only take its moment further down the line when we’re not expecting it!
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I have regular back issues – generally lower back cramping or neck tightness. But earlier this year I had a bulging disc and sciatica. Bloody hell that was the worst pain I have ever had. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t raise my leg. I couldn’t sit in the car without being in agony. Sometimes i couldn’t breathe without gasping in pain. So yes, I had pity parties, I had tears. Oh and I tried all manner of pain relief. Only thing that worked – gentle stretches, slow walking on flat surfaces and time. And some self pity without people giving advice or making any comments!
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Husband has constant pain and is very stoic about it, so I am stoic about my non functioning knees too.
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Phew, I feel better following Helen. My back hurts 24/7. Nothing can fix it or alleviate it, so I just get on with it.
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I’m sorry to hear you’ve been going through all of that agony, Cathy.
Yes! A good old cry does one good. Take my word for it. I’ve had many of late, along with an out loud bellow or three! Better out than in, I say!!!
Nothing wrong with throwing a Pity Party, with a tantrum or two thrown in for good measure! Let it out! 🙂
Take care, Cathy…and don’t apologise. You, and only you are the one who feels your pain and discomfort. Having a cry certainly helps…as I said, I know what I’m talking about. 🙂
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Darn! I’m having a terrible time trying to leave a comment. WordPress insists I use a blog address that I no longer use.
Anyway… I’m so very sorry you’re going through all this, Cathy. But I’m relieved you’re feeling better now.
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When I retired four years ago, relatively healthy, I never dreamed that suddenly I would have so many ongoing medical problems. I never thought retirement would be each week checking what medical appointments I have. I never knew about constant arthritic pain. What can I do?
A friend in Sydney who is a public figure and ten years my junior collapsed at home unconscious. Fortunately his workplace noted his absence and he was found. He regained consciousness to find his right leg had been amputated at the knee. That kind of put some perspective to my own woes.
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I seem to remember that your car trips to and from your winter home are hours in length. Therein lies (or sits) the problem…too much sitting.
I found myself sitting a couple of afternoons the week before, and then being in such a hurry to get out in the mornings last week that I didn’t have time (ha) for my exercises, and the sciatica came screaming back in full force.
In old age we must do our best to keep these bodies moving or they will turn on us, and it will be painful.
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I think it’s best to be honest with our feelings, give them our attention, and then do the best to solve the problem. I’m glad the chiropractor and some stretching has improved the pain. It doesn’t sound like it was any fun at all. Take good care.
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I modify the party instructions. I put on very melancholy old songs and sit. They do remind me that this too will pass.
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YES…to the timing of pity parties…Oh gosh, I understand this so very much. “Not fair” …ha! Glad you commented and directed me back here!! Take care…I know you will.
Denyse.
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Totally sorry for you. Sounds nasty. I just go to bed and sleep and let the world do one.
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