The Irish Medical Dictionary

I’m sure my rellies in Belfast would think this funny – but then again maybe they mayn’t  lol
Irish Medical Dictionary

Artery………………………..The study of paintings
Bacteria…………………….Back door to cafeteria
Barium……………………….What doctors do when patients die
Benign……………………….What you be, after you be eight
Caesarean Section………A neighborhood in Rome
Catscan…………………….Searching for Kitty
Cauterize…………………..Made eye contact with her
Colic………………………….A sheep dog

Coma………………………..A punctuation mark
Dilate…………………………To live long
Enema………………………Not a friend
Fester……………………….Quicker than someone else

Fibula……………………….A small lie
Impotent…………………….Distinguished, well known
Labour Pain……………….Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff………………A Doctor’s cane

Morbid……………………….A higher offer
Nitrates……………………..Cheaper than day rates
Node………………………….I knew it
Outpatient………………….A person who has fainted
Pelvis………………………..Second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative……………A letter carrier
Recovery Room………….Place to do upholstery
Rectum……………………..Nearly killed him
Secretion…………………..Hiding something

Seizure……………………..Roman emperor
Tablet………………………..A small table
Terminal Illness………….Getting sick at the airport
Tumor………………………One plus one more
Urine………………………..Opposite of you’re out
Yes I know its a groaner

I was telling the truth

A couple of friends of mine rang today and asked me if I was making the previous post up – nobody would talk about mass murders when advertising their B&B even if they did take place down the road a bit

Sorry to disappoint them but that really did come from a website advertising the virtues of a B&B in cottages attached to a lighthouse in the Corner Brook area of Newfoundland.

I did remove the name of the Inn and won’t give it to you (might by email)’cose it could be a very nice place to visit but I can assure you all the words in italics came from that one advertisment.  They are all to do with the same establishment which as I say could be very comfortable and good value, I just found it amusing they would present such macabre facts to try and drum up business.

Long way to go till we arrive there in September – lots of planning ahead (and saving)