The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making
love to a very attractive young woman. And she was somewhat upset.!
You are a disrespectful pig she cried, how dare you do this to me – a faithful wife, the mother of your children!
I’m leaving you and I want a divorce right away!
The husband replied – Hang on just a minute love, at least let me tell you what happened.
Fine, go ahead, she sobbed, but they’ll be the last words you’ll say to me!
So the husband began:
Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenceless that I took pity on her and let her into the car.
I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn’t eaten for three days.
So in my compassion I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn’t eat because you’re afraid you’ll put on weight.
The poor thing devoured them in moments
Now since she needed a good clean up I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away.
Then as she obviously needed clothes I gave her the expensive designer jeans that you bought a couple years back but don’t wear because you say they not the ‘in’ name this year.
I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don’t wear because I don’t have good taste.
I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don’t wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don’t wear because someone at work has a pair the same.
The husband took a quick breath and continued
She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said,
Please … Do you have anything else that your wife doesn’t use?
Still Waters 