Will be away

Will be away for a few days – we are going to Adelaide so Dh can catch up with service friends and take part in the Anzac Day March this weekend
So to keep you laughing while I’m away here are a few funnies
My Mum sent this first over to me years ago when she was having a hard time with Dad
His sense of humour was not appreciated lol
Dh has some ‘funny’ mates who love to pass on Typical Men jokes
some of which are actually funny – the jokes that is:)

Some more Maxines

Heres a couple for those of us who have been with our partners for many a year

click to enlarge

The barman and the Rabbit

The Barman and the Rabbit

A rabbit walks into a pub and says to the barman,

‘Can I have a pint of beer, and a Ham and Cheese Toastie?’

The barman is amazed, but gives the rabbit a pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese toastie.

The rabbit drinks the beer and eats the Toastie.

He then leaves.

The following night the rabbit returns and again asks for a pint of beer, and a Ham and Cheese Toastie.

The barman, who is now intrigued by the rabbit, gives the rabbit the pint and the Toastie.

The rabbit consumes them and leaves.

The next night, the pub is packed.

In walks the rabbit and says, ‘A pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please barman.’

The crowd is hushed as the barman gives the rabbit his pint and Toastie, and then burst into applause as the rabbit wolfs them down

The next night there is standing room only in the pub; coaches have been laid on for the crowds of patrons attending.

The barman is making more money in one week than he did all last year

In walks the rabbit and says, ‘A pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please barman,

The barman says, ‘I’m sorry rabbit, old mate, old mucker, but we are right out of them Ham and Cheese Toasties

The rabbit looks aghast.

The crowd has quietened to almost a whisper, when the barman clears his throat nervously and says, ‘We do have a very nice Cheese and Onion Toastie.’

The rabbit looks him in the eye and says, ‘Are you sure I will like it.

The masses bated breath is ear shatteringly silent.

The barman, with a roguish smile says,

‘Do you think that I would let down one of my best friends. I know you’ll love it.’

‘Ok’, says the rabbit, ‘I’ll have a pint of beer and a Cheese and Onion Toastie.’

The pub erupts with glee as the rabbit quaffs the beer and guzzles the toastie.

He then waves to the crowd and leaves…. …NEVER TO RETURN!!!!!!

One year later, in the now impoverished public house, the barman, (who has only served 4 drinks tonight, 3 of which were his) calls time.

When he is cleaning down the now empty bar, he sees a small white form, floating above the bar.

The barman says, ‘Who are you?’

To which he is answered,

‘I am the ghost of the rabbit that used to frequent your public house.’

The barman says, ‘I remember you. You made me famous.

You would come in every night and have a pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie. Masses came to see you and this place was famous.’

The rabbit says, ‘Yes I know.’

The barman said, ‘I remember, on your last night we didn’t have any Ham and Cheese Toasties.

You had a Cheese and Onion one instead.’

The rabbit said, ‘Yes, you promised me that I would love it.

The barman said, ‘You never came back, what happened?’

‘I DIED’ said the rabbit.

‘NO!’ said the barman. ‘What from?’

After a short pause the rabbit replied.
.
.
.
.
.
.
’Mixin-me-toasties.’

How they relate to the roses

Yesterday I mentioned a couple of plants that survived the long very hot summer
They grow beneath some roses in a long narrow bed near the washing line
Looking at the bed today I realised someof the roses has actually bloomed again but I’d been too busy to notice lol
Society Garlic has thin strappy leaves and grows in a clump – these clumps are quite easy to split up and replant so you can have extra plants in no time
Click photo to enlarge and get a better view


The clumps of thick strappy leaves are Agapanthus which is also called Lily of the Nile

Now they have finished flowering I’ve cut all the dead blooms off, firstly to make the clumps look tidy and secondly to stop the seeds going everywhere

Unfortunately they have been declared a noxious weed by many councils so this is my way of having a clear conscience

There are a few bare patches in the bed – even tho they are an Australian native some of the Brachyscome didn’t survive the hot weather so I’ll plant more in the spring

Whats alive in my garden

Plodding round the garden the other day I actually spied some colour.
After all that horrible weather nothing has been blooming so I was surpised to see the flowers
Looks like extreme heat and no water doesn’t kill this plant

Sometimes called Society Garlic its real name is Tulbaghia violaceae


Some will say the leaves are edible but I wouldn’t like to risk it
I started out with one plant from the nursery a few years ago and divided it into little ones and then divided them again for a few more years.

Its always grown like crazy in my garden
Now its every where which is good as it doesn’t take up much space and has the prettiest mauve flowers on a little spiky stem

Looks nice beside the Brachyscome which has similar coloured flowers
They are under some roses that also have lavender flowers (Blue Moon is one of them)

Unfortunately it has a very strong smell and if I’m silly enough to pick some and bring indoors for a vase I regret it quite quickly as it stinks the house out within a short time lol

Sport and a question

We have some new TV channels coming alive at the moment

If your TV is ok for digital reception or you have the back set top box you can view ONEHD (part of channel 10 network), which is a dedicated 24-hour sports channel.

http://ten.com.au/one-hd.htm

Lots of new sports available for us to watch – well I’ll rephrase that – lots of new sports for Dh to watch, especially in the afternoon when some of the international sport is available.

When the channel was ‘testing’ he was watching American Football (Gridiron), now the Masters Golf from Augusta, Basketball and Baseball are all keeping him happy, as well as Soccer with English and European match highlights.

Its been a real plus for him, some afternoons recently have been a bit too chilly to sit outside as he normally does for an hours read so he’s parked himself in the lounge room with a coffee and his book and has been very quiet for an hour or two – with the TV on. LOL

Possibly makes him sound like a bit of a Norm – who remembers him from the 1970’s Life Be In It Campaign –

…………….The central character in the ‘Life. Be in it’ commercials became a cult figure. The obese, middle-aged man, Norm, was an anti-hero who needed to stop being a couch potato and become ‘more active’. That Norm has become an Australian icon is evidenced by the inclusion of a gigantic, couch-bound Norm (dressed, of all things, in gold lame and sequins) in Sydney’s Centenary of Federation parade in 2001. The term ‘Norm’ has been adopted into the Australian vernacular to describe, according to the Macquarie Dictionary Book of Slang, an average citizen viewed as a non-participant in any kind of physical exercise while addicted to watching spectator sports on television………

but it gives him (and me) the chance to view sports we wouldn’t see otherwise.

For me when I have a minute to sit down it has been great to see Netball being given an airing on a different station other than the ABC. And I even saw some indoor athletics the other day.

http://ten.com.au/one-hd-sports-on-one.htm

There are many times I don’t want to see all the grief that’s happening in the world at the present time – not saying I am ignoring it – its just some days I’d rather not be depressed and sad so not having it uppermost in my mind is one way of relieving all that tension I feel whilst watching the news.

So, if you’ve read this far you might be able to answer my question –

Remembering that even tho’ Baseball does have a following here in Melbourne and there is a league as such, I’m familiar with the game but I don’t know that much about it –

my question is –

We see some of the baseball players who look lean and fit but I see others who actually look chubby (won’t say fat ‘cose they wouldn’t like that) they are really on the large side – especially in one of the teams playing this afternoon – Thursday evening in the states (Milwaukee) and we wondered why.

It seems quite strange as they definitely have a different stature to the rest of the team especially the younger looking ones.

So would they be an older player who’s put on (rather a lot of) weight or is there another reason?

Goodbye Granddad

This has something for everyone

If you know the bush, it will appeal to you
If you work in the oil industry, there is something in it for you too
If you have a sense of humour – well, it might test it a little
And if you are not an Australian, then it won’t help your knowledge of Australian life one bit…………………..

Goodbye Granddad

Poor old Granddad’s passed away, cut off in his prime
He never had a day off crook – gone before his time
We found him in the dunny, collapsed there on the seat
A startled look upon his face, his trousers around his feet
The doctor said his heart was good – fit as any trout
The Constable he had his say, ‘foul play’ was not ruled out.

There were theories at the inquest of snakebite without trace
Of redbacks quietly creeping and death from outer space
No-one had a clue at all – the judge was in some doubt
When Dad was called to have his say as to how it came about
‘I reckon I can clear it up,’ said Dad with trembling breath
‘You see it’s quite a story – but it could explain his death.

‘This here exploration mob had been looking at our soil
And they reckoned that our farm was just the place for oil
So they came and put a bore down and said they’d make some trials
They drilled a hole as deep as hell, they said about three miles.
Well, they never found a trace of oil and off they went, post haste
And I couldn’t see a hole like that go to flamin’ waste

So I moved the dunny over it – real smart move I thought
I’d never have to dig again – I’d never be ‘caught short’
The day I moved the dunny, it looked a proper sight
But I didn’t dream poor Granddad would pass away that night.
Now I reckon what has happened – poor Granddad didn’t know
The dunny was re-located when that night he had to go

And you’ll probably be wondering how poor Granddad did his dash
.
Well, he always used to hold his breath

Until he heard the splash!!

Dunny – Outhouse – Long Drop

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunny

http://www.upfromaustralia.com/takepeebreak.html

http://www.warrenfahey.com/articles/dunny.html

Not my normal self

Well, I have to admit I’ve gone and done something – and I can’t remember where I did it. LOL

I have left a comment on someones blog about Agapanthus………………………only it was on the wrong blog:(

And for the life of me I can’t remember whose blog it was……………yes I know ……………how could I do such a thing.

Believe me it is quite easy some days 🙂

So if I left a weird comment not relating to the post you wrote – just think she’s having a bad day and ignore it

The correct person will be hearing from me soon

What is a road train

A friend asked me today what I actually knew about Road Trains
– had to admit not much –
I do know that they are very long – can be 53 metres/173 feet in length
Remember I’m a townie so don’t have contact with these every day like those who live out in the bush so here is some information I gleaned from the Internet.
They are more common in South Australia, Western Australia, parts of Queensland and New South Wales and of course in
The Northern Territory
where they were developed through necessity
Not allowed within a certain of distance of towns and cities there are trailer parks where the prime mover can move on from and take one or two trailers to wherever and the others are picked up individually
For Gill the answer is that legally they are restricted to 3 trailers – but I have seen some on mining sites that are longer but they are not the same as those used on the open road for freight or livestock.

Kurt Johannsen’s Diamond T – an early road train

A road train or roadtrain is a trucking concept used in remote areas of Australia, Mexico, the United States, and Western Canada to move bulky loads efficiently.
The term “road train” is most often used in Australia.
In the U.S. and Canada the terms “triples,” “Turnpike doubles” and “Rocky Mountain doubles” are commonly used for longer combination vehicles (LCVs).[1]
A road train consists of a relatively conventional tractor unit, but instead of pulling one trailer or semi-trailer, the road train pulls two or more of them.

The Long Run

Well as I set off a a ‘short’ 5km walk yesterday I thought about what one of my Dds had done over the weekend.
Remember I mentioned she and 3 others were going to attempt the Oxfam 100km/60 mile Trailwalker event
This is the four of them not long into the run/walk and they were full of the joys of Spring or Autumn in our case lol
Half way and still with smiles on their faces – they left Jells Park at 7am so this would have been mid afternoon. They had come along the Dandy Creek Trail up to Churchill Park, through Lysterfiield Park to the lake, then on up through the Dandenongs via Belgrave to Sherbrooke. Up to Ferny Creek and Olinda and then down to Silvan and Mt. Evelyn.

We (as in Me, Dh and DGd) met up with them at Mt. Evelyn just after 5pm and they were getting a bit weary.
Leg sore and foot sore it was time for a shoe and sock change with foot massage thrown in by one of their support crew – also time for a ‘proper’ meal break and not a quick check in and out of the required check points. Food and water and a good laugh was what they needed more than anything else.

So 63 km down and less than 40 to go but all of sudden that reluctance to move appeared out of nowhere. This was how they started that next leg, water camel packs on their backs but shoulders down and walking. It seems that as they had arrived at that check point they’d all thought about throwing it in but wouldn’t let the team down.

And they didn’t – the enthusiasm came back and they moved on along the Warby Trail to Woori Yallock and Milgrove and finally after 19hours arrived at Wesburn Park to finish at 2.20am

They have all agreed that to do it 2 years in a row and improve their overall time taken was great – at the final tally on a time taken basis they finished 68th out of 714 teams – but next year they are going to volunteer and help others achieve their goal.