And wait – theres more

The 98-year-old Mother Superior from Ireland was dying, so the nuns gathered around her bed, trying to make her last journey comfortable.

They gave her some warm milk to drink, but she refused.

Then one of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen.

Remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened and poured a generous amount into the warm milk.

Back at Mother Superior’s bed, she held the glass to her lips.

Mother drank a little, then a little more and before they knew it, she had drunk the whole glass down to the last drop.

‘Mother Superior, the nuns asked with earnest,’ please give us some wisdom before you die.’

She raised herself up in bed and with a pious look on her face, said,

‘ Don’t sell that cow.’

Picking on the Men Day

THE BOTTLE OF WINE

For all of us who are married, were married, wish you were married, or wish you weren’t married.

This is something to smile about the next time you see a bottle of wine

Sally was driving home from one of her businesstrips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road.

As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride.

With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car.

Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman.

The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail,until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally.

“What in bag?” asked the old woman.

Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, “It’s a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband.”

The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two.

Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said:
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“Good trade…..”

THE COWBOY BOOTS

An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert, moved to Texas.

Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home.

Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, ‘Notice anything different about me?’

Margaret looked him over. ‘Nope.’

Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots.

Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, ‘Notice anything different NOW?’

Margaret looked up and exclaimed, ‘Bert, what’s different? It’s hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it’ll be hanging down again tomorrow!’

Furious, Bert yelled, ‘AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT’S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?’

‘Nope’, she replied.

‘IT’S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT’S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!’

Without changing her expression, Margaret replied,

‘Shoulda bought a hat, Bert.

Shoulda bought a hat.’

More Hot Days to come

It is summer here in Australia and it’s supposed to be hot. We’ve had some hot days recently but the forecast for this coming week is getting a bit out of control.

If this was the back of Bourke it might be the norm but here in Melbourne historically we only get a few days of temps over 40c/104f and they are usually scattered here and there. My suburb doesn’t have a weather station but there are two close by and this is what the weather forecaster has predicted for this week coming.

Wed
Sunny
40c/104f – low 22c/72f
41c/106f – low 19c/66f

Thur
Sunny
40c/104f – low 23c/73f1
41c/106f – low 20c/68f

Fri
Sunny
40c/104f – low 23c/73f
42c/108f – low 20c/668f

Sat
Sunny
41c/106f – low 22c/72f
42c/108f – low 19c/66f

If I had to move I’m not sure which one I’d go to – the one with the higher day temps and lower nights or the other:)

Adelaide is having hot days as well and our weather seems to follow their pattern so there will be more to follow after the weeekend.

Down here we tend to be insulated from the very nasty northern hemisphere winters especially the one you are ‘suffering’ this season so when our weather gets ‘nasty’ we know all about it.

A heatwave it is and I gave in yesterday, turning on the airconditioning early afternoon – it did mean we were able to go off to sleep in a relatively cool house.

Somehow I don’t think I’ll be doing any gardening lol