Tag: Family Friday

Over the years I’ve often thought about something and wondered ‘did that really happen’ – was I there or am I remembering someone else’s recollections that might have been mentioned in passing. My memory sometimes plays tricks with me and on the odd occasion I’ve actually (in a nice way) been proven wrong. Which doesn’t do much for your self esteem when you think you’re ageing quite nicely.

Anyway when we were younger (1950s) and went over to visit family in Belfast we always stayed with the same aunt. Of Dad’s sisters she was the one who had the room to put up another family….basically doubling the amount of people in her house….now that’s what’s called love.

At the time there were 3 of us girls and 3 girl cousins and the words ‘6 in a wonky bed’ keep cropping up in my mind but I don’t remember it actually happening. It’s what family did in those days but I can’t see (in my minds eye) us top and tail in a big bed.
I’ve no idea where Mum & Dad slept or Aunty Maudie and Uncle Herby slept but it’s where us 3 girls and the 3 girls cousins spent the night that’s been bothering me.

I had a surprise early last month when a cousin contacted me on a genealogy site – he is the ‘baby brother’ of these girl cousins, he was much younger than me so we didn’t actually ‘know’ each other which meant lots of newsy notes have passed to and from each other. He mentioned he’d forwarded them onto his sisters and this came back from one of them:-

Tell Catherine my memory is 6 of us sharing a bed when they stayed with us. xx”

When I passed all this on to my next sister this is what she came back with:-

Memories of Finaghy. Definitely the 6 in a bed plus the uncertainty of the springs dropping through the frame and us ending up on the floor. 

So it looks like it did actually happen.
I’m still wondering though if my memory has been sparked by others talking about it..

How do you go with memories…..are yours real?
or second hand passed on by others who were also there?

There are so many rabbit holes on the internet designed to lure us in like fish to a hook.  
And like many of us who are searchers of family past and present I subscribe to one called Ireland Reaching Out – a free site ( no payment needed) one that you don’t have to be a ‘member of’ to enjoy the content. 
Just ‘drop in and read’ – if you are really interested you could join their mailing list – which is how I found this interesting article

But first…..

After my Granny in Belfast died (1960) and Dad had come back from the funeral it was a little bit quiet in our house. Slowly he started to talk about it and one thing he mentioned and seemed rather happy over puzzled us

Dad said ‘all the houses on both sides of the street had closed their curtains’

We sort of knew it was an old fashioned thing to do with funerals but that was all

Then Mum would often say ‘don’t put your shoes on the table – it’s bad luck’.

We had no idea what would happen but none of us dare put shoes (new or otherwise) on the table😊

That Irish website I referred to up above recently put out a new article.
One where Rituals, Superstitions, Women, Games and the Church all played a part.

The traditional “Merry Wake” represented the core of the funeral customs of the poor. Opposed by the Roman Catholic clergy throughout the nineteenth century, the “Merry Wake” was performed right up to the first half of the twentieth century source

And after reading it guess what I discovered – two little gems that might explain Mum and Dad’s words…..plus much much more

• All curtains in the house would be drawn except for the one nearest the body to allow a clear pathway to heaven

~ ~ ~ ~

• Candles were placed at the head and foot of the deceased along with a pair of shoes to aid their travel to the next world

You’ll find it here – The Irish Wake – 5 Facts. 

Also if you’re interested, and maybe many of your Irish ancestors migrated to America here’s another article about a different type of wake

An Irish Wake for the living- American Wake

As well as this one
The Irish Wake and its gender roles

#livelovelaugh

I had an email from my contact at the nursing home telling me about a new memory project called ‘I Remember That’ that was starting about the time I return at the beginning of next month. The title had me remembering all those years ago when my aunt would come out with those words….admittedly after some subtle prompting by us with words or pictures…..but we were glad it had stirred something in her mind.

(At that time I belonged to a (now defunct) ’families and carers’ group where to ease the strain we wrote and shared pieces online – I hope you don’t mind me sharing another one from 2009)

Remembering the past

Talking to my Aunt the other day I was asking her what she remembered – its a hard question for her to answer some days but for some reason on that day she was clear in her mind about one thing.

She remembered her older sister Betty and how she made her laugh.

They were raised in India in house a house full of adults. Along with their Mother and Father there were also four spinster aunts – sisters of their Mother.

None of the servants had children they could play with so as well as sisters, they were playmates and also constant companions to each other.

Being priviledged they were sent off to boarding school at a young age, luckily not back to England as so many expat children were but somewhere in India ( she doesn’t remember where exactly) and were able to go ‘home’ for the holidays – so whenever Pam felt lonely or afraid Betty was there to comfort and make her laugh. 

It was so lovely (and rare) to hear her talking of this life she led so long ago, dances were a way of life, Betty was the fun one attracting lots of admirers while Pam being a quiet one would sit on the sideline. 
They both married officers in the 9th Gurkhas Regiment so continued to live a privileged life as adults. They stayed in India till after the war and then returned to England to a very different lifestyle. 

She was so clear in her descriptions of life in those days it was almost as if she was reliving them – till she came to the part of migrating to Australia in the early 1950’s. 

Then nothing came – she just stopped talking.
I assume ‘cose there was no Betty – who had remained in England – to talk about.
Maybe I’ll be able to get her to remember those times again but I never know from one day to the next whats going on inside her head.

As a youngish widow she managed several trips ‘home’ to England over the years to see her beloved Betty – the sister who even as an adult had a way of making her forget her troubles and laugh. She recognised Betty in this photo of the two of them enjoying a special moment of laughter but had no idea where, when, or why.

Betty on the left and A Pam on the right

Can you see the special bond they had with each other – the love in the eyes and the smiles on their faces? Hopefully she can still remember those moments inside her head even if she can’t talk about them

Aunty Pam (Pamela 1923 – 2011)

I’ve been known to hang on to things…….just in case.

My other excuse is often – it’ll come in handy……

When – we don’t know, but it’s there just in case

Discussing our winter ‘going up north again’ plans and what to take with us, we (The Golfer and myself) had another look at some ’just in case/might come in handy/ you never know when’ items the other weekend.
That’s when the word water bottles cropped up

Not so much the flimsy plastic ’comes in all shapes & sizes’ single use throw away ones you buy water in – though they’re bad enough……..more the keep and carry (sometimes plastic) ones seen in the hands of those who take hydration seriously.

Someone I know – let’s just say not me – has a likeing for water bottles. He has quite a few lot…..He’s out and about on the golf course in all weathers so definitely needs to be hydrated and (for him) filling a bottle with water from a dedicated tap at the 9th hole is ’not on’ so he carts his own (along with all the other weird and wonderful things that come tumbling out of his bag when he’s looking for something.)

I do have water in the car but can usually quench my thirst somewhere during the day.

So after going through the garage, various cupboards and cars, we came to an understanding – that we (he?) did not need the collection of water bottles we (he?) seemed to have gathered.
When he was ’into volunteering’ each event had a water bottle supplied – suitably emblazoned with good/bad/ugly….usually necessary logos and advertising.
Lots had been used then tossed aside (not away) in favour of others so after our chat he chose some to hang on to….not to use now……but just in case!

Most of them went into the rubbish and recycling bins

And as well as what he calls his ’good ones’ these others 👇 are what he kept

Now I love him dearly and I understand there are memories attached to each one and I can’t complain when I think about what I’ve still got tucked away….BUT

• These few have never been used, just been gathering dust (and dirt) in the garage
• Souvenirs of special events that made the most impression on him – Melbourne Commonwealth Games – Fina World Swimming Championships – Australian Youth Olympics – various National Australian Canoeing events plus a couple of other org. I don’t remember
• Look at the dates – (You might have to enlarge to see) …..2006 2007 2013
• They’ve already been there a fair while so I’m wondering how much longer they’ll have to wait for their….‘I knew they’d come in handy’ ….time to shine 😊

~ ~ ~ ~

And then of course there’s these

but they have my name on so no explanation is necessary 😊

https://www.qualitylogoproducts.com/promo-university/history-of-reusable-water-bottles.htm

The Golfer has ’suddenly’ become interested in his family tree

That means I’m the one doing the research while he looks on and ‘admires’ the results

It’s probably been there for quite a while but I’ve discovered a new (free) research site

If anyone’s interesting in going down online rabbit holes this one is pretty good

https://www.freeukgenealogy.org.uk

https://www.freereg.org.uk

There are links to the original free BDM site plus some free census. But it was the VERY old parish BDM records (think 1700s) that held my interest. Both his paternal lines were/are entrenched in small Essex villages so one surname or the other plus a place name brought up so many facts – and a maiden name to boot😊

(And that’s where I’ve been this past week or more – it definitely cut into my blogging time!)

After her death lots of my aunt’s bits and pieces found their way to my home

The ‘A.1’ Cookery Book by Helen H Lawson was one. I can find nothing about the author on the net so don’t know who she was or how she came to write a cookery book. It’s possible one of my readers might be able to tell me 😊

As you can see its quite an old cookery book – this is the 1946 (war time) 5th edition – very plain front with the title etc on the spine….. all words and no pictures; the first edition was published in 1901/2 and I imagine she was an ‘older’ lady when she got round to revising it for its fifth publication.

The front page suggests it contains everything essential for those who wish to have plain food daintily prepared’ and I can imagine thats what my aunt would aspire to but theres lots included that I think she’d have run a mile from.

Somehow I couldn’t have seen her stewing eels, boiling a calf’s head or foot, plucking and drawing a partridge, pheasant or pigeon. Note on pigeons – Tame pigeons taste better if cooked as soon as possible after they are killed – bet you didn’t know that !.

Lots of very old type recipes and many basic ones with some good hints and tips relevant to simple cooking these days.

The author mentions a tip that we all know about the water from boiled vegetables including potatoes and that in which rice, macaroni, or spagetti have been boiled are useful as a foundation for soups and sauces. But seemingly there was one exception – cabbage water, which must be thrown away at once. Unfortunately she doesn’t say why

Before the section on puddings and sweets she lists whether they need butter and eggs – eggs but no butter – and those that need no butter or eggs – which would have been a boon in the days after the war when not everything was readily available and there was still food rationing 

Sometime or another I’ll really delve into this and find some ‘easy’ old recipes.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

• After another look online Look what I found -….a site where you can access and read the 2nd edition (free) Scroll down the site a little until Read/Preview – then click through. There’s also a download feature as well.

https://openlibrary.org/books/OL26302488M/The_A1_cookery_book

A couple of little differences on the title page – the author is named H N L (not by her full name) plus the words ‘written in the simplest possible manner to help the inexperienced’ which are not on the 1946 version

Returning to and being able to volunteer at the nursing home with all the different rules and regulations plus restrictions due to ’you know what’ has reminded me how different life in a nursing home was for my aunt in 2009

(At that time I belonged to a (now defunct) ’families and carers’ group where to ease the strain we wrote and shared pieces online – I hope you don’t mind me sharing this one here)

~ ~ ~ ~

Aunty Pam’s Last Dance

I haven’t said much about my Aunt recently

As even tho’ she has been in the nursing home for a few months now

she is still very unsettled and almost withdrawn

I am grateful for the loving care she is receiving

yet feel there has to more that I can give

I visit when I can and if its dry outside

I take her for walks in the wheelchair along the main road

She can look at the traffic and also in peoples gardens

We ‘talk’ about the flowers and the cars

I try to get her to tell me the names of the plants and describe them

– colours and shape –

but her memory is really going and she just gets flustered

Unfortunately over the past month or two

she has become so uncoordinated

 I find it difficult to transfer her into the car

so going for  a ride is now a thing of the past

Even tho’ the wheelchair taxi is very unreliable

– they come when it suits –

when the weather is better

 my cousin and I hope to manage to take her out

 maybe for lunch at one of the larger shopping centres

There is one close by with some nice little cafes

we can walk round

and she can look in the shop windows

Also if there are the two of us there to entertain her

it won’t be such a problem if we do have to wait

for the taxi to come for the return journey

~ ~ ~ ~

Last night I took Aunty Pam to a dance

Yes, a dance……at the  Nursing Home

The staff organised an evening for the residents

They asked for some nice clothes to be there for the evening

Ladies had long lasting hairdo’s (I think the rollers stayed in for hours lol)

Nails done, make up on and off we went

Down to the largest day room

– renamed The Ballroom for the night –

decorated beautifully with fairy lights and balloons

Carers who weren’t on duty came in and helped out

Carers who were on duty kept popping in to see what was going on

It was only the really infirm who were in their rooms

and one carer stayed on the floor all the time

We listened to a Glenn Miller tribute band

And we danced

Wheelchairs were wheeled round in time to the music

Those who could were on their feet

– some gently swaying – some remembering steps from long ago –

others having a fine old time humming and mouthing words to old favourites

Lots of family and friends there

young and old

There was wine and beer and soft drinks

There was finger food and cakes and pastries

and at the end of the night

This lady who has been so unhappy

went to bed with a smile on her face

And ‘this’ lady

who has also been so upset

‘cose the other lady has been so upset

drove home with tears in her eyes

‘cose the other lady was so happy 😊

This is The Golfer with his aunt (his mother’s sister)
Taken 2010 in Nova Scotia at the wake after a funeral 

She was smiling not tearful at all – ‘no place to be sad, she said 
Always remember and celebrate the life of the one who has gone 
It doesn’t matter how long a life they lived – Its how they lived it that matters’

She is the one who left her life in England back in 1945
to move to Canada as a war bride 

And it’s their family I’ve been doing more research on over the past few weeks 

Its been fun doing this and there have been some good moments when things have fallen into place and then some not so good moments when there have been big surprises.

The biggest surprise was when I actually located Aunt Dot’s long lost aunt’s name on a passenger list of a ship going to Canada in 1902 but the circumstances were not good.

At the turn of the 20th century there was a lot of poverty in England and it seems her father (recently widowed) placed her – the youngest child – into the care of the Waifs and Strays Society.  What happened then also happened to so many other children at that time – she (aged 12) was taken to Canada seemingly for a better chance in life. It appears she went to an intitution in Niagara on the Lake but I can’t locate any records of where she went after that.

• Earlier this century, several thousand British children mainly in the care of voluntary organisations were emigrated to former Dominions – mainly Australia, Canada and New Zealand – under several schemes involving the British Government, the Governments of the receiving countries and the voluntary organisations who operated the schemes. Source
  

• Between 1869 and 1932, over 100,000 children were sent from Britain to Canada through assisted juvenile emigration. These migrants are called “home children” because most went from an emigration agency’s home for children in Britain to its Canadian receiving home.  source

~ ~ ~ ~
I had been aware that lots of children had been brought to Australia particularly after WW2 (so the ‘Oranges and Sunshine’ debacle wasn’t quite a shock to me as to others) …..as an aside there was an orphanage close to where we lived in the 1940/50s and my mother (lovely lady that she was☹️) would ’tell me’ that if I didn’t behave she’d have me sent to Australia along with the kids from the home!

But… I certainly didn’t know the ‘scheme’ had been going on for so long and the children had been going to other countries as well .
Looks like I’m going to be sitting here for quite a lot longer than I thought if I want to get to the bottom of Ada’s tale. I just don’t know what I’ll discover next.

Trying to find the whys and wherefores as well as the whereabouts of family from years gone by sometimes means delving through old documents.

It often brings up weird and wonderful words or phrases…..unheard- unknown- unseen.

One of my ‘groups’ posted this (very safe) link to a Wiki on Family Search

A Glossary of Genealogical Terms

It’s full of definitions of words and terms that may be useful for some of you

For instance :-

If you’ve an interest in Irish documents you could turn your research around if you discovered the word Acotholicus (Latin for “non Catholic, Protestant”) somewhere.
It could indicate a mixed marriage which could mean researching another church or parish. Even another townland.

So….

Even if you’re not on the hunt for an elusive ancestor or (like me) are just weirdly interested in things, it’s a fun informative read.
Worthy of half an hour or even several hours.
Well I think it is 😊

Talking to my sister the other day she mentioned how touched she was by some of the recollections of our late sister that friends had shared with her.
It reminded me of how I felt when someone ( a stranger) had shared some information with me – information that helped to unravel a ‘mystery’ concerning one of my grandfathers.

The man seated is my maternal grandfather – Isaac John Joseph Thompson, my mother’s father.  A few years ago I posted this photograph (and his name) on a military forum in the hope of getting it dated – to my surprise I learned a whole lot more than the date.

Yes, we knew he served in the RAMC (Royal Army Medical Corp) and we knew he was a regular and had ‘fought’ in both WW! and WW2 – Mum had told us he was a hero, ‘mentioned in dispatches’ but that was it.

Well, from that photograph, I was given the approx year it was taken and his rank.  Also from looking at the medal ribbons on Grandad’s uniform this person was able to determine his ‘mention’ and  (through contacts he had) then went on to supply me with information on which conflict he was in at the time.

This is when my jaw dropped – after giving me the date of the award, the forum member told me “he earned his mention for gallantry in the Mediterranean Expeditionary Force (MEF)”  When I looked it up I discovered the MEF is another term for The Gallipoli Camapign!

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gallipoli_campaign

Even though I was not born here in Australia (am a long time naturalised Australian) it brought a smile to my face when I realised he took part in and performed an act of bravery in a campaign that is dear to the heart of most Australians.

Anzac Day – National day of remembrance and first landing of the Anzacs at Gallipoli – is this coming Sunday 25 April.
source – https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anzac_Day

Are there any unknowns in your family’s past
that have become known through research?