When friends get together they talk about allsorts of things – if they are like mine it’s ‘anything and everything’ – and if they happen to be ladies of the older type (like a few of mine are) it often happens that lots of those ‘anything’s’ talked about are families, grandchildren and great grand ones for some of us in particular 😊
Being able to get together again has meant that some are discussing how those same grandchildren are/have been coping with the pandemic.
I was a bit surprised the other day hearing one of them reliving something I remember vividly, something that happened about 10 yrs ago when she was asked to mind her newish grandchild, a little babe about 4 months old. Something she herself feels is one of the reasons her grandaughter has always been quiet and withdrawn.
The mother (the d in law) brought the baby over and had left a list of ‘dos and don’ts’
One item on the list was the suggestion that the baby was not to be picked up and cuddled. She was to be left in the pusher – one of those newish ones with all the bells and whistles – to lie there and look around and just take in her surroundings.
My friend had been really upset over this and had rung her son to ask him if this is what went on at home – was the babe just left to lie there without being picked up and cuddled and talked to. His reply was, ‘Mum thats the way **** wants to raise her and I’m not going to interfere’
At that time (10 years ago now) I felt (and still do) it was such a shame, the little one would miss out on all that contact she needed early in life, her family – grandma included – would also miss so much.
My belief is it’s through that physical, visual and verbal contact you have with babies that they learn so much. Remember all the funny noises they make when they are tiny and all the funny faces they pull – it’s through you encouraging them, that all of that happens. I don’t subscribe to the school of thought that says you don’t encourage baby talk – yes, when they are starting to form words you try to get them to say the correct one but I’m talking about when they are really tiny.
Holding and touching baby – clothed or otherwise to me is good
Goo Gooing and pulling faces to me is good
Yes it a very young me and ‘our little girl’
1964 – We were living in Singapore when she happened to be the same age as my friend’s grandaughter. Our little one was really getting into the ‘finding her voice’ stage…..It wasn’t a performance because I was unaware The Golfer was taking these photos but am so glad he did. Its the way I was with all of our five – the way I think everyone should be with their children – we just happen to have proof that that was the way it was with ours.
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I’m curious to know how others feel – are there times for one and times for the other?
~ Pick up and cuddle or let lie to observe ~
Do babies miss out or not?
( ps – there is a follow up tale to this I will relate another time)
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Baby Talk – published March 21, 2022
Linking to Denyse’s new fortnightly on a Monday feature ~ ~ Life’s Stories