Posted on by Cathy

Is the customer always right

Or how do you feel when they don’t like what you’ve got?

I had a call last Friday…..from the friend I spoke about on Wednesday….the one who will become a new grandma next year.

“Cathy you won’t like what I’m going to say
My daughter has changed her mind. She’s decided she’d really like at least one little lacy jacket to bring baby home in…….She felt the one you had suggested was a bit plain. What other patterns do you have. If you don’t have one she likes, a friend of her mother in law (the other grandma) will knit one”

First thought from me was…what?? That wasn’t how it was, my friend had chosen that one from a selection I presented, asked me and I agreed to knit it as a gift. Next thought was…..thank goodness I’d only finished the first (very small) sleeve.

So after emailing this photo for her to pass on to the daughter……of a style I’d made previously – newborn size, not too plain, not too fancy, and then received a thumbs up yes, went and looked for the pattern.

Um, I haven’t actually knit this particular jacket for a while, the pattern was one ‘found’ on the web many years ago. I’d tried the original one, then made some alterations, so what I was looking for was a typed copy….and it wasn’t where I thought it would be. I certainly hoped I could find it because my ‘original reworked’ copy had been lost (along with countless other files) during one of those dreaded updates on the shared PC….which The Golfer tends to think is his because I so rarely use it….except to locate things I’ve saved in ‘my files and folders’.

After an awful lot of looking I finally found it tucked in behind something else. The paper copy of one for the cross overs I’d worked on back in August.

There was no copy on my iPad either so as I’ve altered it even more I think I need to do something about that. It’s such a simple design I’d hate to lose it…..again 😊


You know, after being on my own (with The Golfer) and doing what I want to do, not having to take anyone else into consideration (well, apart from The Golfer) for these past few months (read that as most of the past year) I was really looking forward to being with others and sharing. Yes I’ve been filling the charity box during this time to be shared with unknown children but as we’re slowly moving to a ‘normal’ life sharing by knitting and physically gifting this very special one off gift in a few months time was something I was looking forward to.

This will probably sound a bit strange to some, I will gladly make this little garment but for some reason at the moment I’m feeling a bit resentful, stupidly i feel betrayed as if my friend did the dirty on me by not telling the truth. I was offering and was almost berated for not having the things that were wanted. As if what I offered wasn’t good enough.
My problem I know!

Its early Monday morning and I’m enjoying my first cuppa tea…..I know this is not a happy post, I need to stop wallowing in my feeling of rejection and gather up the love I need to start casting on again. But then, we’ve been promised a warm sunny day, maybe I’ll just garden instead 😎

How do others cope with rejection – there has to be a way to not feel it personally
Any clues anyone?

Joining Corinne for Monday Musings 
Senior Salon can be found HERE. 
Denyse Whelan Blogs is the home of Life this week

27 Replies to “Is the customer always right”

  1. I feel your pain. You offer a gift and it’s rejected. Who does that kind of thing? Next time, you should just make what you want to make and give it as a gift.

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  2. I too feel your pain – it’s not like you are going to charge the friend or the new mother for your services – I wonder how much it would’ve cost the new mother if she didn’t have kind knitters – probably be as expensive as a fancy new piece of underwear. We all know that eye watering costly item!

    About a decade ago, a craft co-op asked me to start making an woven item that I had not made for years, I wasn’t even one of their members,then. But could I use modern colours. First I had to buy more yarn, and then dye some to what was deemed modern. I made a pretty big range, possibly 50 placemats – delivered and waited for a return on them. I think – 2 sold in 6 months. I took them out of the co-op and said “thanks but no thanks” – I still have some but now I’m cutting them up for other mixed media art!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh that’s worse than my perceived snub……it makes you wonder why they asked you. Maybe they’d had ‘requests’ and someone said…oh I know someone.
      At least they take up less room than unsold books!

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  3. I feel for you. How I feel for you. The proverbial ‘slap in the face’ comes to mind. Her change of mind could have been MUCH better phrased. It would still be infuriating, but the hurtful element could have been diminished.
    And no, I don’t cope with rejection (or even perceived rejection) well.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m slowly calming down now EC – once bitten twice shy as the old saying goes. And yes, sometimes the words used aren’t exactly the ones that should have been.

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    1. To be ‘kind’ she sounded very embarrassed – didn’t take away from how she presented the order of events or whether what she actually said to her daughter was the same as what happened. I’ll think twice next time I’m asked to do someone a favour

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  6. Tacky, and totally out of order. Offensive, even… If she were ordering a garment to be made and would be paying for it, then she would have the right to dictate what she wanted. But to do what she did to you is callous and unfriendly, at the least.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It certainly surprised me, I’ll admit to that. The hurt came a little later. As I’ve said elsewhere I’ll think twice if anyone asks me to help them again.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. I empathise, Cathy! I’d be hurt and mad, too.

    And, no….the customer is not always right…far from being right in so many instances!!

    Chin up…don’t let others get you down. You’re a good woman! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for your kind thoughts Lee I’m back to looking on the bright side again. I’ll just dig in and get on with the job and get it over and done with.

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  9. I can understand this. I feel frustrated when I’m sometimes taken for granted. Because I’m single and don’t have kids I think sometimes people just assume my time is worth less than theirs.

    I worry I’m set in my ways after spending too much time alone but I tend to be a people-pleaser so rarely put myself first in most situations but it grates on me more and more as I get older. Whether that’s because I’m willing to put with less (or it’s being set in my ways) I don’t know.

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  10. That’s pretty much what the world has come to. A lot of takers out there. A gift is a gift and the receiver should accept it gracefully. I would feel really peeved in your situation as well

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  11. I think when we offer something as a gift from the heart, we expect that it will be accepted with the same love. Young people today are much more likely to tell you what they want and assume that you won’t mind doing it their way. I don’t think they do it with ill intent, they just think differently.
    Let go of the hurt and as you knit, think about the fact that it’s what the new mum wants and will be appreciated and used because it fits her idea of a knitted jacket – and most young mums don’t want anything handcrafted these days, so at least she was happy to accept it and for you to have a part of the coming home of the new baby xx

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  12. Leanne has got a point, it is demotivating to be dumped on like you were but once you have done some furious digging about in the garden ruminate on the idea that most new mothers these days wouldn’t touch hand knits with a barge pole (well that was my UK experience), so your skill and generosity is going to be enjoyed and useful.

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  13. As far as I’m concerned it’s the absolute height of rudeness and you’re right to be miffed.
    In response to other comments, even if it was a paid job there wouldn’t necessarily be a chance to change the order or there would be an extra charge.
    Also, I wouldn’t accept that being asked is flattering, they are using you for your skill, no more.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. What lovely work you do! It’s not that common for new babies to wear hand knitted things these days so your friend is lucky to have you able to make something so beautiful. I’m sure it will be appreciated. #lifethisweek

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  15. Hmm reminded of DIL who wanted baby clothes in grey! I think your friend was rather embarrassed and that’s why it came out so badly. And in the long run better to knit something which will be worn rather than something that goes to a charity shop unworn.
    I tend to knit something and just send it, accept that the pleasure was in the creation for me and if its liked then that’s a bonus.
    I recall making that seal toy and thinking well there’s one that will go straight in the bin- how wrong I was- apparently it’s so cuddly the girls adore it and its a top toy, and the parents have told me that on several occassions.
    Enjoy the knitting.

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  16. I have been a Sales / Marketing person all my working life and I can assure you that the customer is not always right. I have had many occasions to prove this maxim wrong and I was right. I sympathise with you on your experience.

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  17. I came across this quote last night and thought/hoped you would smile. It apparently comes from a firm’s training manual.
    …Staff please note: – The customer is always right – misinformed perhaps, inexact, bullheaded, fickle, ignorant, and absolutely stupid – but never wrong.

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  18. Of course your getting upset is understandable. You only went ahead after their nod and then you had to do lots of research with the design. That is a lovely design by the way.. their loss not yours. Whatever the hurt, it’s always better to let it out of our system.

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  20. I felt for you when I read that. I am sorry you and your generous act and gift were not treated with the respect you had hoped. I do add, however, it can be hard to be ‘in the middle’ of something where you are making it for a person who is connected to you through another.

    Sigh. It happens. I hope your processing of it all feels a bit better by now too.

    Thank you for linking up for #lifethisweek. Next week the optional prompt is 46/51 Exams. 16.11.2020 Hope to see you then! Denyse.

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  21. Like many others have said, I also feel for you. What an uncomfortable situation to have been put in. However, I’m sad that you’re considering thinking twice next time someone asks you for a favour. Please don’t let this experience change the very wonderful and kind person that you are. It’s not a reflection on you, but on them. Don’t allow it to dampen your generosity in future situations, but continue to offer your wonderful skills whenever the opportunity arises. All the best.

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