It’s just different…

Going back a long way this morning.
This is The Golfer and me in 1960 – just after we were engaged.
Living and serving in Cyprus
He was a young airman – Me, the 18yr old daughter of a not so young airman.

Kyrenia Beach Cyprus October 1960

The Golfer had spoken to Dad, Dad had said yes. We were like Love’s Young Dream
Always smiling, always looking in each other’s eyes.
As far as we were concerned neither could do any wrong.
Mum, who also approved, took me to one side and said “he has led a different life to you. He will say and do things differently. Just remember – none of us are perfect (you included), he’ll try your patience at times…so will you him” Coming from her I thought that a bit much, then she followed up with… keep this little saying in mind.

It’s not right – It’s not wrong – it’s just different

Let me tell you, it wasn’t an easy task to bite my tongue when I young and thought I was right all the time . There was an awful lot of accepting done along the way…on both sides 😊

He comes up with the strangest ideas at times. I just shake my head and think about my mother’s words. Not right, not wrong, just different

Take our morning coffee at home for example.
For years (since retirement) as well as instant Moccona this has been our other coffee preference. Made in the plunger with beans from Queensland that we both enjoy the taste of.. Coffee grounds in plunger, pour on water, insert plunger in top, wait a certain time then push down carefully. Even I could do that!

Morning coffee as it was for years.

Then one year for Father’s Day he was gifted a small machine… from Aldi… certainly not à la posh…complete with pods and a small milk frother. He found it easy to use, I was not impressed. With the taste more than the fiddling around to make it.

So once the pods had all been used (byThe Golfer) the novelty wore off and it sat quietly in the corner until earlier this year when lockdown 1 came into force and a certain person seemed to become bored with all things familiar and wanted some different – didn’t know what, just different. So off he goes to the supermarket. First box of pods aren’t right (too small) so it’s into Aldi for the ones that ‘will’ fit. I’m still not keen on the taste but have to steer him away from buying more, I can live without a home made ‘proper coffee’ and I don’t want to be trying boxes and boxes of different ones until I do find a blend I enjoy.

Try that, he says one morning. Oh dear…what’s he up to now
He’s discovered that by dropping one of the small Lavazza pods inside an empty used Aldi one, then securing with a bit of sticky tape they can be used in the machine.
Another day I thought he’d used the plunger then added frothy milk…..but no he’d actually refilled one of the larger pods with some of the grounds from Qld, replaced the little cap, then wrapped it in cling wrap. It worked – refill and reuse!

My goodness these weeks are flying by…’s Monday morning and once again I’m sitting here thinking out loud with my early cup of tea

I know my experiences are different from others but oh dear, sometimes it’s been hard living with someone who thinks outside the box. Most times, like with the coffee, I’ve just shook my head and gone with the flow. Other times I’ve certainly
‘made my views known’
Do any of you know what I mean? How have you coped with similar situations

Linking to #MondayMusings hosted by Corinne (Everyday Gyaan)

18 thoughts on “It’s just different…

  1. Oh yes.
    On both counts.
    There are things I bite my tongue about, and things that ‘eventually’ I recognise as making sense. And some things do result in words.
    My mother told me (and she is probably right) that it isn’t that we think the people we love are perfect, we just prefer their faults to other people’s virtues.

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  2. That is the sort of solution my husband would come up with. I am glad to know that I have a friend across the seas who can understand. His best invention to date is a very long pole attached to the vacuum so he can clean out the gutters since I told him no more ladders. Heaven forbid we pay a young person to climb up and clean out the leaves!

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    1. lol we (well I) solved the gutters situation by asking a grown grandson to do them. Then had to bite my tongue because he didn’t do them the way we did. He hauled the hose up on the roof and wondered why there was no water pressure. I tried to explain- length of hose. distance from tap, doesn’t flow uphill easily. Then gave him the bucket and small garden trowel!

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  3. So I am not alone! Living with Leo is like living with the White Knight….some of the inventions work, others,,,,well…
    His tea making ceremony would beat any Japanese hands down…with tea bags…..

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  4. My sister and I lived together close to 40 years. I learned how to stack the dishwasher, and that was just for starters.


  5. I really love that the golfer has found a way to use different pods, waste gives me the shudders. Having said that, my approach would be like yours, just stop buying more potentially unsuitable coffee.
    My mum has many, many routines and special ways of doing things. They all have some validity but the effort made for very little benefit is extreme. I thought it was normal but I don’t think I could live that way again.


  6. Oh yes I know just what you mean- we have instant coffee and three different coffee machines and coffee perculators and plungers- we have recently gone back to coffee beans and a jug.
    As for Heath Robinson solutions to problems- all the time- it’s a bloke thing I think.
    BTW you made a very glamourous couple!


  7. Great advice from your Mom. There’s many arguments that I can avoid with my husband if I follow this rule. Not always easy, as I’m sure you’ll agree.
    Also, I too am particular about my tea and coffee.


  8. My husband and I are polar opposites and there’s been many times when one of us shakes their head at the other’s weird and wonderful way of doing something. Still, it’s good to have someone who questions you and makes you think – or makes you decide if it’s important or just a habit. Glad you’re enjoying your coffee – and your husband gets to play around with his machine – Aldi certainly come up with some interesting products for quite good prices.


  9. Well, I have to say that my husband and I are both people who think outside the box. We take turns thinking differently. He’s very precise and very accurate, carefully thinks things through, comes up with a solution. I’m more airy, fairy, but I come up with solutions very quickly. Disclaimer: they don’t always work. I figure this out soon enough and make adaptations until they DO work. Two smart people who problem solve in two different ways. We’ve been solving our problems for 22 years now, so I think we’ll be fine.

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  10. Your mother’s words were wise words, indeed, Cathy. Good advice. Even good advice, though, is difficult to follow at all times! 🙂

    That is a lovely photo of you two young lovers!

    It’s many, many years since I’ve shared my life with another (of the human variety, anyway…I do share my life with my two furry rascals). Living with another person is not always simple, nor is it always easy…it doesn’t run by a pre-written script like in a movie,, or romance novel 🙂

    I believe you’re doing pretty damn well….and your views are just as important as the Golfer’s views are…and I’ll bet he respects you for them, 🙂

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  11. oh yes, we are different and how! My mum and I made peace years ago that she and I are different, and respect that 😉 now, we have 2 different kinds of tea leaves, 2 different brands of coffee, 2 different saucepans so that each can have their cuppa just right 🙂
    trust me, there is a lot of peace in this way… the differences are now just a part of the routine 🙂

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