Lifelong Friends

You know how sometimes you meet someone and ‘click’
Both of you are comfortable with each other
Pick up on things straight away each time you meet
no matter how long you’ve been apart

I’ll tell you about two such people I know who were like this
Over the years in previous posts I’ve talked a lot about my Aunty Pam
who sadly developed Alzheimer’s and after leading us a merry dance in many ways, moved into a nursing home before dying in 2011…..my reflections in the link

She was married to my mother’s brother 
She was raised in India and thats where she met Uncle John
He was serving there as an officer in one of the Gurkha Regiments
So due to life’s circumstances there was a slight difference in what would have in those days been called ‘class’
BUT
She and Mum got on like a house on fire 
from the moment they met
which would have been in the late 1940s when troops and families 
returned to England after war ended and Independence was declared in India

A Pam had lived a sheltered life
from a respected family she had wanted for nothing
and Mum – well Mum knew about the world
and how to raise a family on almost nothing
so Mum taught A Pam an awful lot about running a home 
and A Pam taught Mum
Well I don’t know what – ‘cept how to be a lady I suppose lol

Here they are together (1953)
Mum (Alice) on the left – A Pam on the right
along with my Dad and my Grandad (Mum and Uncle John’s father)
In front of our little post war prefab in Cosham
A Pam and Uncle John left England the next year to settle in Australia

Here they are again in 1997 when A Pam was visiting England
They had only seen each other a few times in all those years
but it seems from what I heard they laughed and giggled like couple of schoolgirls all that afternoon

Mum died well before A Pam was diagnosed (My reflections in the link) but in later years each time I used to visit her (A Pam)In the nursing home she would often call me Alice and ask if I’d like a glass of wine.
Always the hostess, right to the end – sadly for me, but not for her lifetime friend

When this pandemic is over I think we’ll realise
it was the ones who would just occasionally ring or text, always asking how ‘you’ are
rather than the longtime ‘friends’ who were persistently at our ear all the time
(moaning and groaning)
who will be our new version of lifelong friends.

16 thoughts on “Lifelong Friends

  1. This pandemic has everyone thinking of memories etc. I know I have to keep myself busy as I for one can become very depressed. I do like to get out for a walk try to walk every day but one can’t help wonder how long this is going to last.

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    1. Germaine you’re right in that it’s very unsettling for many with no idea when it will be over. Here’s hoping that fresh air and exercise enable you to stay healthy ……physically and mentally.

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  2. I love seeing pictures of your Mom and Auntie Pam, and your Dad, and your Grandfather! Australia seems so exotic to me, sitting here in Canada!
    Glad to know you are still safe and sound. We are having a surge in cases here, so I guess it is our turn just now.

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    1. The Golfer and I have managed to steer clear of any hotspots in the metropolitan area Maggie. Most of those areas are on the other side of town to us plus the second lockdown came with a ‘stay in a 5km radius’ order. I do hope both Atilla and yourself are able to stay safe….especially with Atilla and his woRk situation being on youminds all the time.
      lol Australia is very much like Canada except we have different flora and fauna. Yes our trees and many of our animals are different to yours.

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    1. I started to ignore some phone calls for a while Helen then…. even though they were annoying me with their wingeing all the time….began to wonder if the callers were actually ‘scared’ of everything that was going on around them.
      I still feel more comfortable with those who quietly take a little interest in my affairs same as I do with theirs.

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      1. I see what you mean…it was their way of coping with worry….but I am much happier with those who keep things on an even keel, yes, mention problems, but not dramatise them. I have enough worry with Leo’s health at the best of times and appreciate the friends who understand that we prize normality a great deal!

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    1. I’ve only had that experience with a couple of people Andrew. Haven’t seen either for years but have always felt a special bond with them…..disagree on lots of things as well.

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  3. Sitting here and thinking about good friends I’ve had – but are they lifelong – yes I meet up with some after many years and we do seem to be on the same wavelength but do we just “click” not sure…

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    1. It does bring to light some varying thoughts doesn’t it.
      It was the acceptance of each other’s differences that seemed to seal my mother’s and my aunt’s friendship

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  4. Cosham – and there was me assuming (why do we assume?) that you were Aussie living in UK after the war because your Dad was military or something! It is easy to forget how many thousands of Brits emigrated to Aus and NZ after WWII – especially in the 50s and 60s. They are all Kiwis and Ockers now. Do you remember Hampshire at all – Tigger and F spent nearly 10 years living just down the road in Havant. F loves Hampshire almost as much as ‘home’.

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