Posted on by Cathy

Maybe it’s just me….

Is it only a few weeks since I spoke about all the clubs and groups I’m associated with regrouping and returning after the long summer break?

It’s just six weeks since I wrote that post – it certainly seems much longer than that because when I looked at the calendar the other day I groaned – where did all my free time go?

I’m starting to get fed up with trying to find a day ‘to do things’.

For quite a few years after I finished working (as in paid employment) I was involved with a large charity giving them 2 regular days a week of my time.  It was almost like being ‘at work’ again seeing the same people each time, I agreed with the aims and objectives of the charity and certainly enjoyed the tasks I was responsible for.  Then like a lot of things, things changed as paid staff moved on, office routines changed, attitudes toward the volunteers changed and I grew tired of ‘office politics’.  It was so much like being back at work again that I decided I didn’t need all that stuff in my life and resigned.  Oh but we ‘love’ what you’re doing, you’ve been doing it for about 10 years now why are you giving it away.

Because I need some ‘me time’ I told them and began to live a very quiet ‘me time’ life.  Doing what I wanted when I wanted with no commitments to anyone or anything else.  I was content with my Crafting Reading Gardening Knitting Family History researching Travelling etc etc the same as many other retirees were.

Then the community attitude to older life expectations seemed to swing away from living a quiet sedentary life and became ‘Keep busy, keep your brain active, meeting greeting getting involved, play a larger role in society or you will grow stale in retirement.

I’m not usually swayed by those sorts of ‘messages’ but did begin to wonder if – no matter how much I was enjoying my quiet retiring lifestyle – I was becoming too much of a recluse, perhaps I did need to move back into community life and take more interest in what was going on around me, so slowly and gingerly (because sometimes you don’t quite know what you’re letting yourself in for) I joined clubs and groups that were recommended by friends and the pace of my days changed again.

This year has only just begun and as I mentioned above it’s now got to the stage where the boxes on my calendar have so many ‘regular’ outings pencilled in that something has got to go because I’m finding it hard to find a day to do things – like housework or washing or ironing – well that might be stretching it a bit but medical (human and animal) appointments as well as catching up with friends has become very much lke the telephone yoyo that happened before hectic retirement lifestyles became the norm.

Maybe it is just me that enjoys being involved yet knows/thinks that no matter what age one is, there are times when constant busy times can be too much of a good thing.

(That sentence seems to be as clear as mud)

Does anyone else feel the same way?

 

26 Replies to “Maybe it’s just me….”

  1. I gave away a full on voluntary job last year…and just this week a phone call from someone who basically said “I know you did your share, but we miss you…do you miss us? And what are you doing to fill in your days?”

    I don’t miss the work that’s for sure, and I’ve plenty of new and exciting things to do “all day long if I wish….”

    I love it that my task calendar, has very little “must go to this this…” rather I have things like ?retreat away for a week. And nothing is stopping me from packing my bag, locking the dog [oops that’s not right…DOOR,] and going away…

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    1. If I decide to cut back on anything away Cathy I know it won’t be my present voluntary programme I run at a nursing home. Seeing the joy those elders get from their weekly singing time is the highlight of my week.
      Retirement group ‘meetings and lunches’ are interesting but certainly not necessary and cutting back on them would certainly open up the time available to me each month.

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  2. I absolutely agree – constant busy times can be too much. I think everyone needs a decent chunk of “me” time to recharge the batteries. 😉

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    1. Noskred, Unfortunately it’s not until you get to that ‘too busy state’ that you realise how stressful and harmful it’s become 😊
      I’m going to work on a cutting back scheme this week which hopefully will do the trick

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  3. I totally agree. People often ask me what do I do now the children and married and have moved on. Maybe I should consider a part time job
    I just don’t have the time. I hardly have the time to blog these days
    If you think that not having a job means you have heaps of spare time. Then I don’t think you have much of an imagination
    There are soooo many things to do and become involved in

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    1. Hello Angela, I sometimes fall into the trap of thinking all my days are never ending and that’s when end up in a time poor situation. Going to do something about it this week for sure

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    1. It’s an awful feeling isn’t it EC, go go go all the time with no end in sight.
      I’m reassessing my needs and wants as far as filling my days is concerned- everything in moderation 😊

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  5. My partner has just gone back to the same volunteer job he was doing until late last year. They called and asked him. He is being cautious. He still takes my mother out each Thursday but otherwise doesn’t have too many commitments. My variable two days off per week tend to occupy him. Weekly shopping is done Saturday morning, but otherwise his time is quite free. To quote him, “I am a lazy b*** and quite content to do nothing. I worry about you when you retire as you are not like me.” Quite true, but I think I will be ok.

    Of course when you are older, you can’t do what you did when you were young. I am fond of advising my sister that her daughter needs time to get bored. Perhaps older people need time to get bored too.

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    1. Like I explained Andrew I began by thinking I had to be doing something to feel needed then I enjoyed the quiet years that followed the demise of those needy times. Becoming involved with community groups these past few years did make me realise I’d missed being around and being stimulated by people but now it’s got out of hand and I definitely have to do something about it.

      We’re all different and I’m sure when your time comes (no matter what R says or thinks) you’ll be able to ‘manage’ your busy times and your boring times much better than I have 😎

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  6. I still work (well, that’s what they call it) and I emphasize the advice to leave the calendar open for life to happen!

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    1. Now that’s advice and an expression I’m certainly taking onboard.
      Leave the calendar open for life to happen- love it! 😊

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    1. Oh Dar, what a shame. You’ve spoken about your voluntary position before and how much satisfaction it gave you to be able to ‘give to your community’
      I’ve a fair idea of what I’m going to do in order to cut back on my commitments – and as I mentioned in another comment, because I value the benefits of my Musical Memories volunteer programme both for the elderly residents and also selfishly for me that’s the one thing I’ll keep on doing 😊

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  8. I have been busy too in retirement. However recently, family issues have taken me away from my volunteer routine. I hope to get back to my other activities when things settle down again…she said hopefully.

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    1. Here’s hoping your life gets back onto a more even keel Marie. Spring will arrive soon – something for you to look forward to as well as returning to a more structured way of living 😊

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  9. I have been in retirement for over a decade and a half and I still cannot find all the time that I would like to have to do something that I love to do, read. My collection of books to be read keeps increasing in numbers and I am unable to stop buying new ones!

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    1. Oh Ramana sounds like you need a good talking to yourself about the ‘one in/one out’ rule or maybe a good look at your bookshelves to decide if your interest in the unread books is still strong or has waned whilst they have been languishing there.

      Maybe you could mark certain times of the day in your daily diary to set aside as reading times or are you a sieze the time impulsive reader?

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  10. Overlap-Overload still has me under its thumb. I’m not ‘into’ anything, but still feeling stressed. Sometimes, I simply sit here to watch the wind blow – it does help.

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    1. I agree with you on the sit and watch the day go by Sharon – when I have the time. I’m definitely going to make the effort to cut back so I do have the time. Here’s hoping you feel less stressed as the seasons progress and the warmth returns to your part of the world

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    1. I’ve been a very recent convert to that thinking Pauline. I always feel guilty – not sure why – because the world isn’t going to come to an end if I don’t put words on a screen and press publish lol

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  12. hi Cathy

    I tried joining groups when I moved here a year ago – but there are two problems – I just can’t do evenings any more -and I seem to have a very nasty neighbour who is well known in the area who has spread untrue tales about me – and find that they believe her – so they don’t talk to me!

    It’s a real shame as I was very willing to make new friends – but I have found a solution – just do my own thing – and as you probably know, have just opened by own retail website to sell crafts & gifts – which I have been doing for years, but was always reliant on the big sites. So now I’m trying out going my own way – see julzcraftstore.com!
    And if it fails, I have still learnt a lot along the way – smile.

    In answer to your present quandry – it’s your life – do what YOU want to do!

    all the best – julz

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    1. It can be hard moving to a new area Julz – I’ve experienced that and can vouch for how difficult it can be to assimilate. Hopefully things will change as time goes by – take things slowly and anything is possible.
      Good luck with your new online ventures- your Spring equinox is coming up, something to look forward to 😊

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