Yes it’s me again – home just in time for Christmas. And look at the weather, hot hot and more hot. Thankfully not humid tho!
So to tide us over till I’ve sorted all the ‘snaps’ (remember that word lol) out here’s a couple of Fun Friday articles/jokes to keep you going.
The first is courtesy of our inbox and the second one is from Tilly’s blog The Laughing Housewife. She’s just finished a challenge which has lasted 1001 days (143 weeks) involving jokes – some of which have been corkers. Not sure what she’ll be doing soon but it’s bound to be interesting.
POLICE WORK CAN BE ENTERTAINING
Recently, a female police officer arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22-year-old white male, while for.nicating a pumpkin in the middle of the night.
The following day, at the Gwinnett County (GA) courthouse, Lawrence was charged with “l.ewd and lascivious behaviour,” “public indec.ency,” and “public intoxication.”
Lawrence explained that it was when he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session when he came up with the idea.
He stated he stopped the car thinking – You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles–or at least I thought there wasn’t anyone around,
I pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin I thought was appropriate, and cut a hole in it.
He continued with embarrassment – Guess I was really into it, you know?
In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching police car, and was totally unaware of his audience until Officer Brenda Taylor approached the side of his car.
Said Officer Taylor, “It was an unusual situation, that’s for sure. I walked up to Lawrence and he’s just b.anging away at this pumpkin.
I said, ‘Excuse me, sir, but do you realize you’re having s.ex with a pumpkin?’
He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there.
And then he looked at me straight in the face and said, ‘A pumpkin…?
S.hit……….. is it midnight already?'”
The court (and the judge) could not contain their mirth.
The Washington Post wrote an article describing this as: “Best come-back line — ever.”
Only have eyes for you
A man was dining alone in a fancy restaurant and there was a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He had been checking her out since he sat down, but lacked the nerve to talk with her.
Suddenly she sneezed and her glass eye came flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reached out, grabbed it out of the air, and handed it back.
‘Oh my, I am so sorry,’ the woman said, as she popped her eye back in place. ‘Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you.’
They enjoyed a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they went to the theatre, followed by drinks. They talked, they laughed, she shared her deepest dreams and he shared his. She listened to him with interest.
After paying for everything, she asked him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful, wonderful time.
The next morning, she cooked a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy was amazed. Everything had been so incredible!
‘You know,’ he said, ‘you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?’
‘No,’ she replied. ‘You just happened to catch my eye !!
Hopefully I’ll be back in a couple of days – in the meantime have Fun and don’t forget to Live Laugh and Love!
Bye for now